Withered

Everyone believes or believed I am/was wasting my time. I am not a man who wastes time, I am fairly good at many things and I just don't waste time in any endeavor I pursue. Never have, never will. So yeah, I was used and I knew this would happen so it didn't take much for me to accept it. It was all a matter of time before the sand settled on the ground and the real colors came into display.

This has happened to me before. I had fallen in love with this beautiful, exuberant flower. True, she was given to me in a horrible, tattered condition. But I was naïve, still am. I thought I could save it. She was so beautiful to me. I dedicated day and night to her. I talked to her, I watered her everyday, I tended to her. I became too involved. She began to grow before my eyes, improve her condition and at least have more willpower to fight.

One day, without notice, fuss or fanfare, she passed away. Her little leaves crumbled, her petals withered so that she was nothing more than a memory to me. I spent days looking at her, thinking a million ways of how I went wrong about her care. What I could've done to save her. How, if I would've tried harder, spent more nights by her side, then maybe the outcome would've been different.

Now my garden life and my real life have mirrored each other in the cruelest of ways I guess this is my form of payment for letting go of myself so. For not holding back, for truly forgetting my place. There are plenty "I should've known better" running around in my head. For now, I will not pay attention. Believe me. There are plenty of empty nights ahead of me.

There is a person in a worse position than me right now. I wish the best for her. A genuine chance for happiness or at least the courage to find someone who is worth her time and love, and that would give her the ability for her heart to heal and move on. I am just sorry I couldn't be that person. The affections are still the same.

Pixie was acquired by another person. Though I was saddened, I think it's for the best. I wouldn't be able to care genuinely for her right now. Or anyone for that matter.

Life has too many webs and we are all tangled in them

If I were to say that "things" have been happening around me, that would really be the largest understatement of the year.

Where to begin to tell the multiple stories though?

Let's see. First, my pretty girlfriend managed to get something out of her system that has been kept within for a very long time. Let's call it an unfulfilled desire, or, unfinished business if you will. Logically, I was not very happy with the notion nor the idea that she was going to engage in a sexual activity with her unprincipled ex-boyfriend. She insisted that no feelings would be in the middle. Just the 'pure' act of sex.

Considering she is a Stocker, and these creatures are known for their rambunctious sexual desire, I had to fight to gain an understanding attitude that was light years beyond me. Nonetheless, I consented. As long as it was that ONE TIME. With no encores.

Within a matter of weeks, my very pretty albeit bad-tempered friend/student Veronique was awaiting me in my office, quite adamant to see me. She didn't look very pleased, which isn't of surprise to anyone who knows her. Though to be honest, I was not prepared for what she had to say to me. It wasn't a long conversation. She merely told me that she thought Caterina was playing with me and my feelings. That I was nothing more than a rebound to her, and that her real love was Eric Delton (Veronique's boyfriend at the time). When I told her that if she brought that to light, then Caterina was my own rebound from Philippa. She went to point out that the only difference... was that she wasn't falling as hard as I was.

I won't deny it. It was all very hard to swallow, coming from a fellow Briton that normally doesn't have qualms to say the brutal truth to your face. Veronique does not embellish.

She continued with her 'tirade', saying that it was apparent, along with the fact that the way Caterina treats me is one that leaves much to be desired. Insinuating that she mistreats me, that she uses me, that she merely takes advantage of the fact that she was my girlfriend because it brought her security.

I told her that was none of her business and that she shouldn't meddle into a relationship that wasn't hers. Not very nicely said might I add. She merely shrugged and insisted that she was only doing what a friend in her position would do. But that she guessed I wouldn't know the meaning of that word.

It wasn't a pretty conversation. It hit me hard, as it normally does when your own secret, deeply harbored doubts come alive in the shape of a little girl with a big mouth. Though I dismissed her.

Call me old-fashioned and foolish, but I have high hopes for Caterina. I have very high hopes for our relationship. I do not believe that it is merely all for show. I believe we have a genuine care for one another. Yes, it would be horrible if this came to bite me in the ass in the future.

Soon after that, we were all in a cabin in some god-forsaken mountain, having a showdown of Veronique and Eric's very ugly and very public break up. At times it seemed she was being attacked ruthlessly but then I realized she had walked right into her own mess. Of course, I have to be grateful to her. If she hadn't gotten in the middle of Eric and Caterina in the first place then I might've not have her right now.

Funny how life works in mysterious ways.

Cat and Kitty Cats

Being without any company has led me to think of many things. Particularly of the difficulty of being in the company of the person I wish to be with. Was that confusing to read? That was confusing for me to type. Either way, in the midst of these thoughts, I decided to go to this cat breeder nearby our house. Please stop laughing. I know I was tilting towards a dog and I know that Cat and Caterina have the first three words in common, but I am not as pathetic as you think. Anyways, I looked at the kitten litter and fell in love with one of them. It's a female Norwegian Forest Cat and she is gorgeous. They call her Pixie, affectionately. She's spunky and fun, like my girlfriend :) That's the picture I took of her. And I know it might sound stupid, or perhaps not considering I speak to my plants, but I felt a connection with her.

I was planning on flying Caterina over to London next week so she could meet her and tell me what she thought. However that might not happen. Caterina Maria isn't exactly into it, considering she still has a very strong dislike towards London and it's people.

Ironic, isn't it?

Even if I truly believe she can overcome it and actually enjoy London in all it's glory. We'll have to see. I still need to dedicate more time to her, especially after Thierry and I had that talk about Stockers and their needs. Needy little sweethearts aren't they?

Caterina Maria is asleep next to me as I write this and I better get back to her, considering she's stirring and she gets stuffy whenever she sees me using the computer.

First 'Official' Date Results

We had a great date. It was simple, adorable, understated and delicious.

I took her to this Italian restaurant called Caffe Milano, which has always been one of my favorites considering the food is delicious and they have this exquisite chocolate delight, that is truly just to die for. I picked her up, a bit worried that her hair was wet and the night was very chilly. She called me a worry wart and we were on our way.

Truth be told, I was utterly nervous during the entire ordeal. She was stunning, with that sweet, sassy smile of hers, a dress that fit her curves and an utter disposition to enjoy herself. I did my best to mimic her, be calm and collected but my mind was racing with all these ridiculous possibilities. Would she enjoy the food? Did she like the ambiance? Is she comfortable? Is it too modern? Does it look like I'm going out of my way to please her?.

Mind you, I'm never this way during a date. I'm normally very calm, very together and quite frankly very out of it. Maybe the restaurants I choose are always a bit stuffy or the dates aren't that entertaining. I've had fun dates before but this was one was sweet. With it's ups and downs.

We talked about many things, but mostly she kept focusing on my cheeks! It's true, I was most embarrassed during the entire thing, which worries me a bit. I particularly enjoyed how the candlelight danced inside her eyes.

After that, we went by this gourmet supermarket I had been talking about during the date. It's called E.A.T. and it has a series of fruits and vegetables and drinks that aren't normally available. She completely flipped, which was quite a surprise to me. She started taking all these products, half of which I can't even remember.

When I dropped her at her house, we shared a kiss and she said she had a great time which did WONDERS for my nervous stomach. It was so sweet, so fun. I can't wait until I see her again.

First Date

Today is our first date with pouring rain as the backdrop. A weather which I love (and find extremely romantic) considering I grew up with it and it gives life to my plants. Yes. Our first "official date" as she calls it. And I suppose I haven't wanted to recognize it as such considering it raises my nerves by ten. It's not as if I haven't gone on first dates. I have, plenty of times. But this is a... first date for us, and I am dating a younger lady, things are a bit different. Mind you, I'm not going out of my way as to research how it is that young lads now go on dates, knowing pretty well I will be both highly disappointed and throughly disgusted. Nonetheless, it wouldn't kill to know.

Oh GOD, would you listen to the nonsensical things I am saying? Please.

She's pretty excited about it and I'm glad that she is. I sent her flowers just a few minutes ago. Tulips, her favorite. Along with a very kindred, albeit flirty note that I can hardly wait for tonight. Which is very true, considering I'm revising the menu of the place in advance. There ARE certain date type rules or so I have been told. First, and this is all Marie's doing, you can't order anything that spatters and stains your clothes. I believe I have checked it over a thousand times, I'm pretty sure of what I'm ordering yet I'm considerably anxious over it being the right choice.

Goodness, these nerves. I have to stop talking to Marie. She is making me neurotic because now food can harbor a hidden meaning of your real personality depending on what you order or how you eat it. She needs to stop reading so much Cosmopolitan.

I have a meeting around 16hrs. I still need to get gas for the car and get my shirt ironed. I'm good. I'm calming down. I'm listening to soothing music. I'm not thinking of the repercussions of this not working out. We have amazing sexual chemistry, it is unlikely that we won't share it on the table. Good. Positive thoughts.

I'm not an easily rattled person but having Marie talking on the phone constantly, does things to a man. Either way, I'm starved but I can't eat anything. Oh bloody first dates, I just remembered how much I hate them! ... now now, no need to rush. I'm calming down. I'm tranquil. I am going to nap.

...I really despise my perfectionist attitude at these moments. I should just stop writing and do other things. And that is exactly what I will do.

Assertiveness

Caterina Maria is my girlfriend. My girlfriend. Anyone that bothers her, chases her, insults her, annoys her or makes any passes at her will have to answer to me.

Was that clear? Good.

Good grief

Bloody.sexual.frustration.

It is not humanly possible to conceive the idea that we've been together an entire weekend and we have not been able to do anything! It's not even funny. We've slept in the same bed, we've awoken each other with kisses and soft-spoken words, but nothing ever turns rambunctious enough for us to appreciate it! It is positively nerve-racking the way the universe conspires against you. I have never witnessed it in such magnitude. If it isn't her intrusive but well-intentioned father, it's her attention-seeking twin brother, if it's neither of those two, it's her overly-materializing ex-boyfriend and if it's neither of those factors, it's our exhausted bodies!

Good GRIEF. You must be joking.

We are both in a foul mood. I even moved my plane ticket (a lovely 120 pounds that I'll never see again) to stay longer and see if we can perhaps make time for ourselves. I can't believe how quickly word travels, for I already have a godforsaken meeting in the morning.

My anxiety and anger are so bad, I'm having palpitations as we speak. Though now I shall retire to my girlfriend's arms as to comfort ourselves promptly. Or at least attempt to do so.

Caterina, the song bird

Congratulations to the beautiful Caterina Maria for an outstanding performance. :) I am very proud of you and to be honest, I was quite surprised at your hidden talents. You must promise to sing for me more often, privately. My own little song bird, how lucky am I? The Stockers are indeed a very gifted breed, in more ways than one.

Thinking

I miss my girlfriend desperately. I'm going to spend this weekend with Caterina Maria. Being rather exhausted from all the work, coming home to an empty room, eating dinner alone on the table... that ought to drive anyone out of their wits. Yes, I do paint a rather pathetic picture. It's either that or we buy a fish, at least. That's even more pathetic. I need to relax, enjoy my girlfriend more, and concentrate on working in Austria for the time being. Though my mum already complaining she hardly sees me. I'll make sure I video conference. Oh that was crude. It made me laugh.

Oh, Michelangelo cut his hair. He looks actually pretty good, very different to what I'm used to, so I didn't recognize him. He looks even more mature though he's still a pretty boy. Sorry, bloke. It's true.

Hm. I'm craving chocolate chip cookies.

Decisions

Caterina Maria and I are making arrangements to live together soon. Yes, it seems fast but to me, it seems reasonable. Having a long distance relationship is horrible. It makes you ache all the time and quite frankly, I don't think my pocket can take more private jets flying to Vienna on a day-to-day basis. Going on dates, spending the night in each other's arms, eating out, eating in, watching a movie... these are all things that I can't have if she lives far from me. So it's not completely unreasonable to want to be near her. She is my girlfriend.

It still feels rather funny to say that. I've never had such a fun, upbeat and completely unpredictable girlfriend. Though I'm a bit apprehensive. I don't want to be under the honeymoon effect for too long because it is unrealistic to find so many wonderful things in one person. But she is very giving, she knows how to cook, she smiles all the time, she has entertaining mood swings, she can dance, she makes me feel incredibly light when I'm with her... and makes me act incredibly unlike me. I am not the type of person who boasts and brags about their girlfriend though I can hardly contain myself. She makes me feel very light.

... :)

Tomorrow life begins to take over us. I go back to my work and the bemusing social functions that do not feel right if my Caterina isn't with me.

Perhaps I do need to calm a bit down as Henry says. Then again, Henry sleeps around like a dog and doesn't care about how feel, he just hates that I complain to him. Such good friends I have. I will now call Caterina.

Girlfriend

Caterina Maria is my fresh, discreet and enchanting new girlfriend. It happened last night, quite unexpected by own decisive action. Though I must say, I'm quite pleased with my choice considering it's been a few months since I broke up with Philippa. I shouldn't feel bad; Philippa looks quite happy with George either way. Caterina is a lovely person and I've grown quite fond of her throughout this whirlwind. I'm currently in Vienna and I'll see her in a matter of minutes, which brings me a wonderful sense of peace... much needed in my life.

Boo-Hoo Crew

Thank you Boo-Hoo crew. You gave the perfect excuse. Thank you, really. Thank you :)

Offering me another form of relief

I had a meeting a little while ago though I'm still lingering in the board room for no particular reason. I'm pondering the notion of visiting Caterina tonight or perhaps tomorrow and have lunch with her.

The entire situation is rather peculiar that we never get to spend more than a day together. Considering we both live in two different countries, I suppose it's not that surprising. Even if I've seriously considered leaving London to be closer to her, it wouldn't be for long. I have serious responsabilities to fulfill in England as Earl Percy; responsabilities I cannot rid myself of. My parents are leaving me alone, without any kind of restraint for a single reason: they believe I'm involved in a period of mourning due to my previous relationship. And they are hoping that I'm also making myself busy looking at possible new candidates for the position as my girlfriend.

This isn't surprising to anyone who knows the nobility. It's not as forceful as it was, centuries past, but the pressure is quite overwhelming after my uncle Alan died without an heir. That is how my father got the title in the first place. It takes even more impetus now that I've reached 25 years of age and I dumped my girlfriend of two years. Scandalous even.

My grandfather Hugh, had he been alive would've probably had a seizure if he found out. He has been on my father's back ever since, insisting that I cannot be left to do as I please. And by that he means buying apartments for someone else in a foreign country. How is this possible you say? It's not strange that my grandfather makes dream-like appearances.

Though I am not even close to the pressure that is placed on the Dukedom of Sicily. They taught since the momeny they are born, to find a wife/husband and immediately breed an heir. Giovanni (he has a total of six names including his first name, which I find amusing) has been lucky enough to find Katzereine Cil, though I'm not sure I can say the same about her. I'm kidding. They do make a lovely pair.

Philippa sent me a text message last night, which unfolded into conversation, which then unfurled into a shouting match. One of the things she said to me was that I never loved her, I never truly demonstrated such love if there was for her. She then concluded that I was person that never loved so I wasn't to blame for being so cold, careless and unfeeling. Can I even be a good husband if the time came? Can I become someone monogamous entirely? I sometimes wonder if this all depends on love. It makes me uneasy to think that I never...

I will not let myself believe such a thing.

The Days After

I feel... lonely. And I have a strong desire to go to her, spend some time and just be around her though knowing her she might get the wrong idea. It's a popular concept that I'm using her exclusively for my benefit, without regards to her feelings.

But I suppose that's normal for anyone who has broken up. And has tried to make things right but made them worse. I lost my chance to amend things, so now I have to deal with the aftermath. It's a disheartening sensation, to loose credibility.

Although, I won't get drunk today. I feel too alive for that.

"It's alright to be discouraged..." My new mantra.

Break Up

It's been a while since I've had to battle photographers the way I did just so I could get out of the airport. Luckily it hadn't leaked that I left for Italy specifically to clear up some things with Caterina. I managed to get to my house scratch free but something unpleasant was waiting for me, Philippa. I walked right past her. She trailed me, the sound of her heels echoing all around the great entrance.

"Christian, please. Listen to me."

"I have nothing to say to you Philippa."

"Christian please, you're being unreasonable!"

I turned around to face her. She bumped into me due to the sudden movement I made, though I quickly put some distance.

"Unreasonable? Unreasonable?"

I walked towards the credenza and showed her three different newspapers with photos of Philippa with no one other than George. They were hugging, kissing on a restaurant with a very flashy and scandalous headline above them.

"It's on every bloody newspaper in the country!"

Philippa stared at the newspapers in horror then at me, her eyes seem pleading.

"Christian--"

"You did this on purpose. And had you done it in a discreet manner then perhaps things would be different. But you did it OUT ON THE OPEN--"

"Don't raise your voice to me."

"I raise my voice to whomever I bloody WANT!"

Philippa stared at me, flabbergasted.

"You are not the man I fell in love with."

"Well I am glad you realized that because that man that you used to love left the moment he saw this..." I raised the newspaper to her face. She looked around, uneasy it seemed.

"Let's talk somewhere else. This is far too public--"

"More public than the newspapers? Really?" I spat. She was truly getting on my nerves at this point. Though she got incensed after that commentary.

"You had a bloody affair with that woman and I stood by your side!"

I turned to face her.

"Did I parade it in your face? Did I do it anywhere a photographer could see us? Did I disrespect you in anyway? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER?"

Philippa stared at me, her eyes wide. She didn't utter a single word.

"I thought so..."

"She ashamed me in front of your family! She humiliated me completely!" Philippa spat. "And by having an affair then you disrespected me!" She said finally.

"Then I suppose we are even. Instead all you lost was a boyfriend, I lost my girlfriend and a best friend. Simple as that."

"I never loved him! In all the times we encountered I never--"

"Wait a minute..." I stopped her, my eyes narrowing. "Encountered? T-This happened more than ONCE?"

Philippa stuttered "N-No."

I groaned but then contained myself, the innate frigidness taking over.

"Then by all means, you have no right to accuse me of anything, considering YOU were doing the same yourself."

"Oh it's very different, I didn't fall in love with George!"

"And I love Caterina?!"

"It's so BLOODY obvious!" she screamed.

I didn't speak.

"Everyone can see it, except yourself. The way you look at her-"

"Stop it. You will not use this as an excuse to justify your actions. The very same way that I cannot justify mine."

She sighed. "Then why can't you forgive me?"

Christian shook his head slowly. "He was my best friend Philippa. You could've done it with anyone else--"

"That wouldn't have hurt you" She admitted.

I looked at her. "Of course."

We were both quiet for what seemed like an eternity.

"I don't think we need to say anything else."

Statement

"I would like to announce that I and Miss Philippa Liddelton have formally separated. For those who follow these sorts of things, I would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any speculation reported by the tabloid media. This is a decision that is a result of much thoughtful consideration. Contrary to what has been said, I have not let Miss Caterina Maria Stocker with child, nor was she the cause of our separation. I ask that you please respect the privacy of each in this difficult time."

Christian Dominic Percy, Earl Percy.

Dot dot dot

. . .

That's all I have to say about the last events that have taken place in the past 24 hours. That is all I have to say about my unmanageable actions.

If this is really a mistake, then how come I keep repeating it? And how come I don't care that I'm making it over and over? Worse, I'm pursuing it. It's almost as if I want my relationship to fail.

We had sex. At the Milazzo's residence.

You would perhaps, think that maybe, I would've been satisfied. That maybe it was all I needed to simply let this go. No. She's made me completely and utterly... insatiable. And I hate her for that.

Mind Boggling

That is the only way I can describe myself at this point. That is the only way I can describe the need and desire I have for her. That is the only way I can conclude that maybe I haven't chosen the best alternative. If only I hadn't seen her today after all these months of preparation and failed attempts to forget her, maybe I would've been able to keep my dignity, my respect for myself.

Maybe... such a subjective word.

I couldn't resist.

I kissed her, in one of the numerous barely lit living rooms of the Milazzo Estate. I tasted her, I felt her, I desire her, I miss her... still. So many unrewarding nights of trying to get her out of my head, trying not to think about her, all the time, everytime. Making an effort to simply NOT think about her whenever I engaged in sexual endeavors with Philippa... her voice, her whimpers, her kitten-like smile, and all I did was throw it out the window. But I can't get that God forsaken woman out of my bloody head.

How could I just stand there, motionless as that weasel Henry flirted with her? How could I just dismiss her as she did me, with a mere glance?

I don't want to miss her. I don't want to think that I made the wrong choice, I don't. I don't want to believe that I am a mess because of her. I don't want to believe that this woman is making me a jealous man. A man that has no power or possession over this woman, whatsoever. What is my PROBLEM then?!

I am not programmed to feel regret. I never have... yet ever since we've stopped talking, it's all I've been feeling. Regret. Remorse. Day in and day out. Questioning myself.

No.

This can't happen again. Even so, as I write this, I know this is a vicious cycle I won't be able to break. Because I don't want to break it. Because what I saw in her eyes... just spurs me on.

...what am I doing?

Killing Time

I am already at the airport. I'm just curious over one thing. One small thing. Why the hell am I still thinking about her? Why the bloody hell am I entertaining thoughts of us, together, in bed? Why on earth am I feeling so damn hollow? Is this normal? I don't remember ever feeling this way before.

It makes no sense. I think the lack of sleep is making me delusional and irrational. Definitely. I mean, it made me imagine Caterina going into the airport and buying a ticket. If that is not self-deception- what is?

Should and Shouldn't

I took a plane to Miami, just as I shouldn't have. I went to see her, just as I shouldn't have. I told her my conclusion, reached after 24 hours of profound, mind-numbing, grueling reflection, as I should've. I'm staying with Philippa. It's the right thing to do. I am not going to continue with a relationship that is potentially noxious for us both, that will end up destroying us... that will end up destroying me. I have no intention of letting go of who I think I am. I'm too proud for that.

Though without a doubt, it was one of the strangest things I've ever lived. I felt I was alive in two alternate dimensions. The one where I was sure of what I was doing and KNEW I had to break it off. The other, where I just wanted to hold her and kiss her and listen to her complain about her trifling manners. The moment spoke and laid things out for her, I felt separated from my reality... which is puzzling to me. She reacted just as I had expected, throwing me out of the room after making me feel regretful for doing what I did. I found myself smiling after it. Call me arrogant, I feel I can win her back somehow even if she clearly stated that she doesn't do the "let's be friends" deal. Ironic, that's all I'll say.

I am beat though. I am scheduled to leave to London on the next flight out. 7:25 P.M. I hope I can actually make it to the airport and to the flight because I have not slept for almost two days. I normally sleep a lot, early and well. These fews days have been so bloody hectic, I haven't touched my bed. I find this abnormal and rather vexing. There are few people (if not NONE) that I would loose sleep for.

With a few hours to kill before I have to be in the airport and with Caterina not wanting to see me, I suppose there's only one option left for me to do. Aimless walking around boutiques. So much fun.

Weighing

Seems as if my migranes finally have a semi-reasonable explanation. I am in need of glasses. Yes. It is quite shocking though I'm pretty sure I can pull off the look without any problem. I'll look quite dashing either way.

Trying to avoid thinking about what I am supposed to be thinking isn't working for me. I am loosing my senses, I want to distract myself with noise or do things I've been postponing. For example, arranging my books in alphabetical order, colour-coordinate my closet, tend to my poison garden, along with a few other miscellanous activities.

As that song says, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. The hardest thing for me right now is being able to think properly. I don't want to think. I am afraid of the conclusions I might reach; conclusions that might shake the very foundation of my being. And caused by something so stupid. A petty fight that basically opened a can of worms.

Now, I am not one with a flair for the dramatic, I actually criticize the behaviour. I don't bother with the theatrical, over-the-top expression of 'feelings'. I do not like overthinking or exaggerating the problem. What I am going through is not a problem. It's... an epiphany of sorts.

I do not know what kind of moral values I have at this point, which is baffling to me. I thought I was this certain way. I thought I wouldn't engage in any sort of involvement whilst I was in a serious relationship... Allow me to rephrase that in a more realistic sense, I wouldn't engage in any liaison that would last more than a few weeks. While it is true that my relationship with Philippa is nothing as it once was, and that by no means is an excuse, I still feel great care and esteem towards her.

Because, let's be honest. We are involved in some way. Even if it doesn't have a name. We are involved. To be honest, I didn't think it would last. She just got out of a very traumatizing relationship, she despised anything that was remotely British, and she had a foul temper. However she was very attractive, fun to tease and... experienced in the bedroom.

I am not someone who likes to divulge sensitive information in a careless manner, so don't be surprised. I do have some dignity left. I do not feel comfortable talking about this. I feel I still need to think, reflect and mull over. My options, my choices, my course of action. Though I am 99.9% sure of what I have to do and what I will do in the end. It's that 00.1% of doubt that concerns me.

I am not a man of whim.

Evolving into migranes

I am experiencing of one of the largest, most vicious headaches in human history. It's not even funny the amount of pain and discomfort that I'm feeling. Must be a migrane.

It doesn't help in the least when I receive a call from her; weeping, feeling all morose and lonely. It kills me. I wish I could be there with her, well aware that she's crying for idiotic reasons (knowing her) but I can't be there to comfort her or even call her off for being such a melodramatic queen. I am here. I am stuck in London. And for one bloody minute I wish I could stop thinking (and cursing as well).

You can't stop me. I'm going for it. Me and Mr. Bourbon, reunited once more.

What a truly pathetic existence.

Bittersweet Argument

I must be thankful for my reflexes and I am. I really I am.

I held Philippa's hand in mid-air as she was getting ready to slap me in the face. I am one of those blokes that is awfully respectful of one's face, it's sacred which means completely off-limits. I gave her a leveling stare, my displeasure quite evident which was all it took for her to recover her wits.

"What is this about a rendez-vous you had in Vienna?" She was rather acid but calmer than what she would've been had she struck me.

"A small birthday get-together in case we're putting labels on things."

"Oh don't be smart with me Christian, I am in no mood!"

"Well, I suggest you relax yourself for I am not about to deal with a hysteric."

"Why wasn't I invited?"

"I wasn't in charge of the guest list," which is the truth mind you.

She took that into consideration it seemed as she continued with her tirade.

"Then why didn't your little friend" insert sufficient venom here "invite me?! She knows I exist, I assume"

"Yes, she knows and why she chose not to tell you is beyond me at this point. And lower your voice, I have a horrid headache."

She threw her purse in my bed, along with her coat then crossed her arms and stared at me. I remained quite comfortable in my chair, rubbing my temple absentmindedly.

"Christian... we've been together for over two--"

"I'm well aware of our time together"

"--good. My point is, why on earth didn't you bother to call me and inform me that this was taking place? And since when is this woman so important in your life--"

"Please Philippa. You're overreacting. She's just a friend."

She looked dumbfounded. "Overreacting? Christian Dominic, this woman threw you a party, didn't invite ME yet invited your close friends that she barely even knows. It's on purpose!"

I remained silent, looking at her.

"And God knows how many times I called you! And you didn't even answer your bloody mobile! You know how embarrassing it is for me to call your parents--"

"You called my parents?" I was surprised, a bit vexed by the notion also.

"T-To see if they knew where to locate you! But I was transferred to their secretary which then transferred me to yours! It's ridiculous the amount of secretaries you people have!"

...

"Why were you avoiding me Christian?" She managed to ask after a while. "I'm inclined to believe this girl is not only a FRIEND you know."

"I was in a business trip Philippa."

"That is not an answer to my question. I don't want you to see her again."

I quirked my eyebrow. "You're jesting, yes?"

"No! I do not want you talking to this senseless cow--"

"She is hardly a cow."

She gasped in outrage.

"So she's attractive too?!"

I did not see that coming and I should've. I was careless.

"I'm not going to stop seeing her Philippa. She is my friend. She just got out of a serious relationship and she's not interested in me in that way. You're just paranoid."

For some reason, after I said that, I felt I was lying not only to her but to myself.

"If you have any respect for this relationship, you will not attempt to see her again. For if you do--"

I laughed in spite of myself. "You are forbidding me to see my friend?"

"It will be a deliberate insult against my dignity and integrity. Not to say what it will do to your own sense of morality and ethics."

I was tempted to answer that I could care less for her dignity and her integrity but I found my silence to be more prudent. I could see she was holding in some tears, the mere act of standing before me and confronting me was taking a toll on her pride. Without anything else to say, she gathered her things and left. I sighed. I do not remember engaging in a longer, more painstaking conversation in all of my life with Philippa. I was rather weary of the direction it took. Yet my mind was elsewhere, with someone else. The core reason of why I was arguing lingered in my mind like an after-taste.

Bittersweet.

Hungover

Good grief, I never realized how loud Eleanor is until she woke me up just now. After I've had a busy night with the Scotch courtesy of a good friend; a high-pitched squeal is anything but welcomed. I can't even remember why I was drinking as much in the first place. I'm trying to think and no... no good. It hurts to even ponder at this point. It's even harder when Eleanor is pulling my arm and telling me to get dressed already that Philippa is waiting for me in the foyer.

Philippa... here... did I tell her to come by?

I remember the phone ringing. I remember I ignored the phone. I remember debating whether or not I should go to sleep. I also remember, vaguely, various messages in my credenza left by my secretary, most of them labeled urgent and Philippa written in big block letters.

So you could say this moment has been forewarned in more ways than one, and I've disregarded each and everyone of them. I can pretty much imagine what this might be about but I'm feeling rather lethargic at the moment, and my interest in this and it's dealings is practically zero.

The door just flew open. Eleanor promptly left my side, after what I can imagine was a long staring match between her and Philippa (whom else would it be?). She is tapping my shoulder right now. I suppose this means it's time to turn around.

Messages at 3 AM

I have a message from Philippa on my mobile. I have no idea why and apparently it's not the only one. I'm sorry it's messages. Good grief. Has she gone mad? I'm exhausted but I can't sleep in my laughable attempt to contact Caterina. Suits me well for being so bloody desperate. I wonder, is this some strange irony that is playing right before my very intoxicated therefore oblivious eyes?

I should go to bed.

I should.

Fatigued yet bloody mad

Well I'm at home. I'm exhausted from all the traveling. I want to sleep forever but that would get in the way of my Planet Earth obsession so that won't be good. My lovely flowers are ready to bloom or so I think. I've been rather careless with them, which is sad and shameful. I shall tend to them and give them lots and lots and lots and lots of love.

But nothing is more shameful than the fact that Miss Caterina Maria has not had the decency to even send a measly message dictating whether she's well or not! I do not expect her to send me a daily correspondence but at least one of those characteristic (nonetheless dry) hellos. But not even THAT. Just thinking about it sends bouts of energy through my being, as if I was going through a caffeine rush, instead it's an overwhelming feeling of outrage. Ugh. Bloody sexual politics!

It's just not fair. Poo :(

...it doesn't help that I'm a wee bit drunk right now does it (oh so many grammatical errors I must correct!). It also doesn't help that I wrote an e-mail when I'm utterly pissed off/drunk. Oh bloody hell.

Mesmerized by Planet Earth

Planet Earth is so bloody amazing it's not even funny. It's just an outstanding piece of cinematography. The colors, the richness, the vibrancy of these images. The effects that Mother Nature herself has displayed before us makes anything made by Hollywood fall flat on it's face. True, I admit I am biased considering I love nature but I think that anyone that perhaps thinks they won't like it, will end up loving it through these eyes. It's just... amazing. You get to understand both humans and animals so well. I would really love it if Caterina Maria were here to see this with me. I would love to share it, just so she can see what I see.

Sappy, I don't care. I'm dazzled. How is it that we live on a such a beautiful land and we destroy it so carelessly?

I'm grateful to Michelangelo, he gave it to me as a birthday present after buying himself a copy. He thought I might fancy it, and he thought correctly. Goodness gracious. I know I should be resting and getting ready for later but I can't... it's too bloody fantastic and I can't go to sleep. Imagine that... five entire CD's of sheer marvelous displays of nature. Pure, untouched nature.

I can swear on my life, I almost had an orgasm.

Post-Birthday already

I had a wonderful birthday, thanks to the lovely Caterina Maria. We went to lunch to this very nice and trendy restaurant. Before that, Caterina Maria met my very close friends which proved to be not disastrous as I had predicted. Henry, Collin and George can be overbearing for the most part yet Caterina wasn't intimidated, which I loved. It's very strange to find a woman who is comfortable around your friends and doesn't feel threatened by them. After that, I went to her house where she had a beautifully orchestrated surprise party for myself. I was floored, I really wasn't expecting it considering I despise parties but this was an exquisite balance of a get-together with close friends, really good food and naughty entertainment. For all who are curious, it was rated PG-14. No orgies, no rambunctious sex on Dr. Stocker's apartment, but it was kinky. Ohh and decadent. So many chocolate cakes, I was about to have an orgasm, which would be surprising considering--

I'm not going to finish that sentence. Truly, being around Caterina, makes me talk so freely about things I shouldn't or normally wouldn't.

I loved it. No one has ever thrown me a party like this, considering that not many people fancy (or even know) about my indecorous sex kinks.

It's depressing for me to watch her leave. She does has this thing for travel but for once, I find myself thinking I wish she didn't leave. Nothing I can about that. In fact, all I can do right now is finish my packing and fly over to London... and prepare myself because Henry called to give me a head's up and I'm pretty sure turmoil is approaching. Always good to stir up the masses.

My Birthday

Happy Birthday to me :)

New York City and back

Back from NYC and I thought I would miss it but I don't. I am staying over in Vienna for a few days, no need to explain why.

On Sunday Michelangelo and I decided to go shopping to buy souveniers and other things. We ended up closing the Roosevelt Fields Mall in Long Island (if I'm not mistaken?). I admit I would've preferred to have shopped in the many boutiques in Madison Avenue, which I must say were quite near to our hotel. But he insisted he didn't want to shop there because it was overpriced. So we took a cab (another mistake considering NOT one of the five cabs we took knew how to get there). Most definitely not a good idea to go shopping on a Sunday when everyone is there. It's quite vexing to be with all those people bumping into you and not apologizing. Not only that, the sales people can be quite rude on occassion. I didn't buy as much as I want to and I didn't go to half the stores as much as I would've wanted to, but that happens when you're running short on time.

After that we went to La Goulue, a decadent (not to mention delicious) french bistro located in 65th and Madison. The food is simply remarkable. I know Michelangelo thought the same for we barely spoke when our food was in front of us. Simply... delicious.

Then we had quite an interesting flight back. Well actually interesting is putting it nicely. It was a complete nightmare with the bloody airline cancelling flights left and right and re-routing us through unthinkable places! It was particularly nervewrecking for me after I had made a mental schedule of where I would be and at what hour I would be there. We met up with Dr. Stocker in the airport which thank God, supplied me with conversation since Michelangelo was useless in that department. And we also met up with Marie, who mistakenly (or purposely?) took our flight. She said she didn't want to be alone.

Alas, I'm in Vienna, and I'm seeing Caterina Maria in a few hours so it was all worth it.

NYC

I am alive and I am well. It has been two very active days for me here in the city that never sleeps. I have been able to prove just that, considering that I've hardly slept. I must admit that traveling with someone is quite entertaining, gives you endless stories to tell.

After changing our flight plans several times to accomodate my schedule, we decided to leave early in the morning, since we had various things to do that same night. Customs was fine, the first class seats were fine but obviously Michelangelo wasn't fine. He had somehow memorized all this useless (equally frightening) trivia concerning the probabilites of a plane falling. Exactly what you need to hear on a six hour trip to New York from London. I practically forcefed him the pill and after two minutes of pure blabber and the occasional whimper for Thierry, he fell asleep. After that the flight was blissful. I watched Casino Royal and some news highlights. We then landed and arrived after 45 minutes to The Pierre Hotel right next to Central Park. The hotel is lovely but a bit too classy for my taste. And by classy I mean classic.

Michelangelo went off to his shoot in Central Park and I went to some meetings. We met up in the Majestic Theather to see the Phantom of the Opera. We arrived just in time to see the chandelier go up. It was fun, enthralling and quite breathtaking. I now owe him 250 dollars, since he bet that I'd like it. After that his photographer made reservations for us in Buddha Bar. I loved it. The music, the decoration, the beautiful people... everything. I knew that we both, as we chatted, would rather be with our respective others. Ahem. Well, he with his boyfriend and me with my....... Caterina.

Anyways... we danced a bit then we went back to the hotel around 3 in the morning. And let me tell you, sleeping with Michel... is quite unnerving. I admire Rink for it. He kept clinging to me, believing I was Thierry and whispering his name. So I was forced to sleep on the couch (which is something I am NOT PARTIAL to) because he was so annoying. Though trust me, that was the last night I slept on the couch.

The next day we had a delicious breakfast. I ate my traditional English breakfast plus some Belgium waffles. Absolutely delightful.

After that, Michelangelo went to his other shoot and I went to the American Museum of Natural History to see the Planetarium, the GOLD display and the Butterflies. I actually interacted with about a thousand butterflies. Caterina Maria... would've loved it. The museum was far too big for me to actually see it in it's completion (four FLOORS) but I quite enjoyed it. Then I went to see some of my friends in Queens. Olivia and Victor, they've been married for our two years now and I hadn't seen them since. I realized how much I missed them after spending a few minutes with them. It was minutes because I got lost using that wretched, DIRTY, FILTHY subway system. That smell... how can people USE that on a daily basis!?

I went to the theater again where I met up with Michelangelo to see Mamma Mia! That was a very fun musical. The music of the entire show is from ABBA and I could find myself singing a few songs without intending to do so. After that, Michelangelo went to another photoshoot and I went to a business dinner in a restaurant whose name escapes me.

Then I came back to the hotel, Michelangelo was already sleeping on the couch much to my relief. So I had a good night after all. Big bed all to myself.

Off I go now.

Hours prior to NYC

It's too bright for me to be coherent. But Michelangelo has been calling me nonstop. It's no joke that he gets anxious before traveling. I was just printing our electronic tickets and hotel reservations, trying my best not to wake Caterina Maria. She has a very deep sleep, luckily for me. She's really adorable.

I'm checking... and everything seems in order. Now I will bathe to see if I can recuperate my motor skills and then continue unto my breakfast. Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages,mushrooms, hash browns, and half of a tomato. Specific I know. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water, which can be a distracting thought since I'm fretting the fact that I'm leaving Caterina Maria.

Yes, I will stop talking like this soon. I promise. As soon as I wake up. Good Lord, I'm most definitely not a morning person.

And all because of a glossy lipstick...

Unfamiliar to many apparently, the code is my way of life. I suppose it does sound surprising to some people but I did attend the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst. I served my rightful time and learned quite a few things. In them, I learned honor and respect. I'm also well aware that today's youth is being raised in a world filled with over the top liberties, they fail to grasp the concept of deference as it seems they were raised in the wild by a pack of wolves. I have managed to sail my way through all kinds of situations, people and scenarios; more often than not I am succesful.

But there's no need for me to rant and mention no names. Or maybe there is. Maybe I'm being ridiculous and childish by mentioning them both. Him, for ignoring the fact that you have to maintain some sort of decent distance with the woman that, you are consciously aware, is being courted by another man. Her, for provoking a needless and rather dangerous encounter between two men, one who is at a clear disadvantange. Though I suppose that it IS normal after all, most people love to ruffle the feathers of the quiet hawk, waiting to see if he'll react and finally poke their eye out as they have been so anxiously waiting for.

We all know that you, noiseless watchers of our little drama, are waiting for the big fight. Why wouldn't you? Two grown men after the same awe-inspiring woman. Only one gets to keep her. As the old saying goes "let the best man win" and we all know who the better man is.

Alas, it is partly not his fault. I suppose we'll label him as an unfortunate victim of circumstance. I'm not as mad at him as I am at her. It is her I like. It is she the object of my affection. It is she who looked positively ravishing with her new look and tempted me to take her right then and there. I suppose it is my fault for not being fast enough or with a quick tongue to sample her glossy lips. Yes, I am guilty of being slow in that sense. I can't express myself as eloquently as I would've liked. I would've loved to take him away and be with her alone. We'll call it my payment for taking a trip on a whim to another continent to see her. I will admit I am very sorry I couldn't stay longer with her, whisper to her ear how splendid she looked and steal a kiss or two.

Though I cannot let her go unpunished. It is not in my nature. We'll blame my anger. And my pride.

E-Cards have special powers

Who would've thought that an e-card could do that? ;) She is certaintly the most original and entertaining person I know. And such a darling. I'll be on my way to plan an entire agenda just for us. Can't wait.

Michelangelo is coming with me to New York. That sounds pretty good, I am not usually fond of traveling alone. Though with Michelangelo that is usually the case, he's not exactly very awake during the flight. He's scared of planes and heights you see. So I can only talk to him while we're at the gate then he slips on a pill and slips into sleep. Quite amusing to watch actually.

I ate sushi today. I felt I needed to vary my menu at least for ONE day, after a while you get sick of cous-cous, kedgeree and salmon filet. And also, Eleanor dared me. She suddenly feels superior to me because she can enjoy raw foods. I tried, and for the 10th time I failed. I cannot find any kind of enjoyment in something uncooked. Though I must admit, like my good friend Thierry said, there is nothing par to the french cuisine.

Happy Earth Day to you all. Time to think green and plant some trees. Me? I'm in dire need of good weather. My flowers need some sun, desperately.

happy birthday jean-luc bellay.

Long days and phone calls

I have been exposed to torture today on so many levels, it's not even fair. First, my Polo match (against Doctor's orders) didn't go as I planned, mostly because I didn't win. The pain in my wrist didn't allow me to swing the mallet freely. I think I must've broken it or at least made it worse. Doesn't hurt though, probably because it's numb.

Before that I was my father's escort to some assemblies that are in charge of our multiple charities. It's that time of the year where we review costs, funds and other idiosyncrasies. I myself have a mountain of paperwork I need to review/sign and trust me, I am surely not inclined to do so. I'm dying for a change of pace... alas, my 'physical' change of pace is far away from me at this moment.

I went shopping today. Strange, I know. I bought something for me and a gift but I don't feel like sharing what it is just yet. Heh.

Caterina Maria and I talked on the phone on this very night. It was remarkably relaxing listening to her on the other side of the phone. Yes, I know that by now, you must be tired. Well, for me, it was delicious. The relaxation I was desperately yearning for. I'm afraid to believe that I am inclined to have a bit of a dependency problem. Though it's ridiculous to entertain such a thought... I can't deny that I get a satisfaction par to none when she laughs only for me.

Quirks

I am completely exhausted yet wired. Good Lord, what a bloody long day.

I have a lot of quirks and I'm wired enough by the coffee, vodka and... (I can't remember the rest) to write them down, because let's face it, you hardly know me. Though to be honest, I'm a very private person. Blame the spotlight, I've been under it's light since I was a child. I don't like people messing around and wanting to squeeze information out of me. Though... today shall be an exception.

- I have a serious caffeine addiction. As in I cannot live without a cup of coffee in the morning. I don't function as I should when I don't have it.

- I don't smoke but I binge drink all the time. I suppose it's my way to alleviate my stress.

- I'm addicted to sweets. Cakes, cookies, brownies, muffins, scones, crullers... everything. My all-time favorite cookie is the Moravian Spice Cookie. The thinnest and most delicious cookie I've ever taste. To this day it remains one of my top guilty pleasures.

- I prefer candle light over normal light. Much more romantic and adds mystery. My, I guess I'm tilting a bit here into sexual territory.

- My lower back is my most erogenous zone. I also get weak in the knees when my scalp is massaged, makes me unwind.

- My favorite season is spring. I would think that I don't need to explain this one. Spring is normally my rebirth, in more ways than one.

- Sports clear my mind, that's why I practice so many. I also enjoy working out at the gym but I like going to them when they're completely empty, which is why I have my own in my basement.

- As much as this may be surprising to some people, I do not consider myself an overly serious person. Though compared to the average person, I am serious but with a light heart. I have strong mood swings, not to mention, I have a strong will and I have a tough time changing my opinion about things.

- I'm a big fan of the classics, both music and movies. I love to dance though today's concept of 'music' has so far escaped me but if I must be truthful, I can listen to it a bit more thanks to someone. I don't need to say any names. She knows.

- I do not enjoy raw foods though I can take the occasional sushi.

- I normally drink my alcohol neat i.e. no ice.

- I abhor nicknames. I cannot tolerate it when my sisters or my mother call me "CHRIS" or "CHRI" or "DOM". I am the one that thinks that if you have a NAME, use it. Your parents must have thought about it before naming you that (though I admit, there have been some cruel and mean-spirited parents out there).

That's all I can think of for now. Tomorrow I plan to undergo more in depth discoveries of myself through liquor. Hmm... it's rather amusing that in the dark of the night I think of her. Things have been too quiet. I'm leaving to New York City next week, that might spice things up. It's no London, but it's a marvelously fun city. I just wish I had...

You know what. I'm not going to finish that sentence.

Dating and Coffee

Caterina Maria left for Miami today. It was rather heart wrenching bittersweet for me, particularly after our discussion of the previous days. It's amazing to me how we fight and make up in a relatively short time. She had made a conscious decision to not date either of the two men I was aware she was dating which were myself and Jean-Luc Bellay, this flimsy childhood friend of hers. We had been going out for a while now but nothing committed. I thought it would be reminiscent of past relationships but it wasn't so. I feel this extraordinarily strong pull towards Caterina, it's amazing. I can't think properly when I'm with her. It's baffling for someone like myself. I'm a very rational person.

So we stopped "dating".

I decided to respect her decision, much to my dismay. And I concentrated on other things. Gardening, chess and polo. Unfortunately for me, Midnight's Dream (my gorgeous and favorite horse) was rather obnoxious and made me fall during one of the practices. She had other plans than performing well obviously and giving me a massage was a top priority. I didn't hurt myself that badly, except for a broken wrist and a few scratches here and there. Trust me, I've had worse. Mum had a fit. She tends to worry when she sees her only son on the floor and not moving.

Seeing Caterina though made me feel much better.

Ugh, I disgust myself with this talk but it's the truth. She does have this magical touch to make me feel lighter. I live with such stress...

But not to worry, Michelangelo and I are going out for coffee. That'll clear my head up. Nothing like taking some shots to relieve the stress.

Intoxicated

I'm currently quasi-intoxicated. I had one too many jelly shots at this very peculiar get-together I attended alongside Caterina Maria. Everyone was so consumed in stress and tension, I could barely enjoy my surroundings. Between Veronique being there with Caterina's ex, Veronique fighting with her older brother, Thierry; then an array of mishaps and uncomfortable situations.

I'm not a sociable person. I try to, but I hate being around so many people. I suppose it's because I don't know them well enough to relate. Though they're quite an entertaining bunch. Now that I think about it, I'm in need of someone to talk to.

I haven't seen Philippa in over a week, strangely, I don't find myself missing her except when I need someone to listen to. Caterina Maria is wonderful to talk to, if I managed to form concrete sentences. Nevertheless, there's something about her voice that acts like catnip for me. I adore listening to her silky soft voice, speaking in an agitated flurry of words. I'm still trying to pinpoint why I can't speak with her as I would with anyone else. Again, having taken about 15+ jelly shots, doesn't help with the mind OR proper spelling at the moment.

Yet it's not fair to dedicate a pissed entry to someone like her. Tomorrow's sunday, the most boring day of the week. I think after a few hours, I should be more than qualified to do a worthy entry.

Acquaintanceships - Veronique

Out of my many acquaintances, I have been frequently asked about a Veronique Reinard Lexington. Some would say we are best friends; I myself like to call her my favorite enemy. We met on the streets of London on a hot summer day. I accidentally bumped into her, which she mistook as intentional. She's quite self-centered you see. After a long diatribe, mostly her trying to convince me that I owed her some kind of apology for what I did, I invited her for coffee. I must admit that her stand-offish demeanor was of no surprise to me but there was something about her attitude that caught my attention. I suppose it was the spunk that emanated from her.

“So what is your name?”

“What is yours?” I asked “Since you’re so insisting on finding out about me.”

“Are you always this evasive?” she asked, quite poshly.

“Are you always this persistent?”

“WHY do you answer my question with another!? It vexes me to no end” she replied.

“I’ll keep that in mind for future encounters”

She quirked her eyebrow with suspicion.

“I highly doubt it. You refuse to tell me your name and I will not tell you mine.”

“Wonderful. Then it will be two perfect strangers sharing coffee in the vast city of London”

She said nothing as she sipped her coffee. I smiled as I did the same, whilst my eyes surveyed her. She looked at me but I could see that I caught her interest by the way she tilted her body towards me.

“Since we are perfect strangers... tell me about you”

I tilted my head to the side. “You’re flirting”

She flinched and sat back. I laughed.

“By your attitude, I say you’re a Taurus... or an Aries”

“By your attitude” I said “I say you’re superstitious”

She appeared surprised, and suspicious.

“Why?”

“Your bracelet for one. It’s filled with good luck charms and... the first thing you threw on the table it’s some rubbish about astrology”

She was obviously displeased with my comment, not to mention offended as most girls get when you put into question their beliefs.

“But you’re right I’m a Taurus”

She continued to question me, not hiding her interest in figuring me out. We managed to stay two whole hours, mostly trying to impress each other with witty banter. At least, she was trying to impress me. I was amused.

She downed yet another cup of coffee. I had lost count by then. She looked at me after looking at her expensive watch.

“Well sir...” she made an emphasis on the sir “I’m afraid I’ll have to leave you. I’m late” she gently stood up and took out her purse; I raised my hand.

“Please. I’ll take care of it”

She looked amused.

“So men like you still exist”

“Gentlemen? We’re dying breed I know” I put the money down on the table and stood up along with her. She extended her hand.

“Pleasure to meet you...”

“Christian. Christian Dominic Percy”

Her eyes widened. As quickly as she was surprised, just as quickly she recomposed herself.

“Earl Percy, heir to the Dukedom of Northumberland...” She spoke as if unfazed.

“Though I prefer Christian. I’m surprised you know that.”

“I know everything about our nobility” she said, her tone getting haughtier by the second.

“So you can marry well?” I quipped. She looked outraged.

“How dare you!”

“Don’t get your knickers in a bunch”

After that, we became fast friends. At some point, we became involved for a short period of time. She was desperate to become a woman, in her own words. It was a one-time thing though I’m pretty sure she had feelings for me when I ended it. Either that or she’s just naturally overzealous and possessive of her friends.

Introduction

My name is Christian Dominic Percy, Earl Percy. I am the heir of the Dukedom of Northumberland. As it is custom, I will introduce myself. Or I’ll try, considering I’m not inclined to share personal information. I was born May 2nd under the star sign Taurus. Not that I believe in any of that trash but it seems to be important to some people. My parents’ names are Hugh and Edith. I have three sisters. I was born in Northumberland, England and I currently reside in Alnwick Castle with my family.

I enjoy the great outdoors and I firmly believe in exercise because it keeps me healthy and active. I am quite the sportsman if I do say so myself. Polo, cricket, fencing, rugby and tennis are my favorites; though I do enjoy the occasional game of badminton with my mum. Softie, I know. And chess with my younger sister, Eleanor. She is the only person who can beat me in that game, which is quite a feat for a ten year old girl.

Being born into privilege as I was, I have a certain appreciation for aesthetics. Due to this, I am quite the arts collector. I love collecting paintings and sculptures. I'm also an avid gardener, in case my name didn't give me away. True, it is hard for me to pin point where exactly this obsession started. I did actually study botany, and trust me, it has come quite in handy. But I'll talk about my green tendencies later.

I am very strong-willed, it is incredibly difficult, not to say practically impossible, to get me to change my mind once I have made it up. More often than not, I’m more practical than intellectual because I am a firm believer of the quick thinking. I am patient but to an extent, trust me, you wouldn’t want to be there when I loose my temper.

That'll be good for now.